A Belated Birthday Letter to Will

(This post is overdue, as it was intended for Will's 3rd birthday. But I've wanted to write him a letter as a way of remembering where we are now and I'm just finally putting down my thoughts.)

Dear Will,

My sweet, sweet boy.

They weren't kidding... a boy certainly has a way of stealing his momma's heart. You had a piece of mine from the moment I saw two pink lines on the pregnancy test. I felt I knew you long before you were born. I talked to you and I prayed for you. I dreamed of you and I prepared for you. Long before I knew anything about blogs, I kept a journal for many years. Here are some of my thoughts of you while you were still in my tummy:

"It's funny. I don't know exactly what he will look like, and yet I can imagine just what he'll be like. I don't know if he'll have light hair or dark hair or any hair at all. I know most Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes, but I imagine his will turn brown like Craig's. I picture a sweet, little boy with a big heart (who doesn't imagine their unborn child this way?) who loves to laugh. I'm excited because I feel like I'll get to see Craig as a little boy. But I think being our first born, he'll also have or develop many of my personality traits that come with being the oldest child."

I was pretty much right on! What an easy baby you were. The only thing that caught me by surprise (and not in a bad way) was how serious you can be. There was not quite as much jolly laughter coming from you as I envisioned, but I have no doubt you are a happy child. You're just always thinking so seriously - always learning something like your Papa - and so your times of laughter are sweeter when we do get to hear them. You also have quite the stubborn/ornery side to you, which didn't show up in my dreams. Haha!

And a big heart! Boy, oh boy, do you have a big heart. I have never known a child to be such a little lover. You are polite and thoughtful and so very loving. You melt MY heart with your hugs and kisses and sweet words. Your daddy is head over heels for you. And all of your family looks forward to your sweet sentiments - your in-tune rounds of "Happy Birthday", your unprompted "thank you's", your heartfelt "I love you's". You make me smile every time you look out for your sister by trying to cheer up her fussies with songs or happy words. You ask me "Can you hug Sophie, mommy? She needs a hug."

Speaking of looking out for your sister... I remember thinking when you were a baby how strange it would be that you would not always be "the baby". That you would one day be the big brother and the responsible oldest sibling like your momma was/is. You would be the protector of your younger sibling(s) and likely more of the independent personality type. But at the time, I was so busy "babying" you that that seemed so far off. And now here you are, well adjusted to the ways of having a baby sister and of sharing my attention, and I am just so proud of you!

Right now you are nearly independent with the potty at home. You love to be a helper with setting the table. You have an incredible passion for books and "boy things". And you are really surprising us this summer with your newfound courage for all things physical!

It doesn't seem possible that you are three years old already!

Wasn't it just a moment ago that we brought you home? That you were twirling my hair between your fingers while you nursed? That you first reached for me to pick you up? That you learned to walk and then run? Now you're going to preschool this fall!!

I always knew I would love being a mom, but I never knew how much I would love being YOUR mom. You are so much fun and I love hanging out with you doing whatever you find interesting or whatever learning activities I can come up with for us.

Oh, Will. You make me feel so blessed. I look so forward to all the exciting things in your future but I'm doing my very best to stay in the moment as I'm increasingly aware of how quickly these moments pass. I love that I get front row seats to this awesome life of yours that's unfolding before me.

My hope as your mom, is that I can just continue to support you as you become the beautiful person God intended you to be. I love the YOU that I see every day and I just want you to know I will always be here in your corner to love you and care for you and support you. You are such a great kid and I am such a lucky lady.

As you recently told me, "You make my heart feel super happy."

Love,

Mom