Things I Want To Teach My Children

I've been feeling thoughtful lately.

Can you tell?

(Thoughtful, as in having lots of deep thoughts... not as in being an exceptionally kind person. Haha!)

I've been thinking recently about what it means to be a good parent.

What defines a good parent?

What are the most important responsibilties and duties?

How do I know if I'm doing a good job?

Well, first and foremost: I love my kids completely.

How could I not?

It is beyond my realm of understanding how a mother could carry a child beneath her heart and not put that child above herself on this earth. My family is my life.

Secondly: I want the best for my children.

To that end, I want to create a life for them filled with opportunity and good health.

I want to create a home for them filled with love, warmth, support and a solid foundation.

I want to show them the world, and yet protect them from it.

Third: I want to raise my kids to be good people.

Isn't that the ultimate goal? To grow the next generation to better our world?

To teach them what is truly important in life and to set an example of what it means to be a kind human being?

Beneath these goals, there are probably an infinite number of ways to achieve them.

I don't think there is just one definition for a "good parent" because there are lots of good parents out there and they may have very different strengths and weaknesses that guide them toward the same goal:

raising a happy, healthy and good child.

I guess the reason I'm thinking about all this is because, amidst all the craziness that comes with life and the exhaustion and stress that undoubtedly all parents feel, I want to make sure the energy I'm pouring into my family is done the right/best way.

Craig and my mom both think I try to overdo it. I don't necessarily agree, but they both have different personalities than me too, so that may be part of it.

My first thoughts of energy expenses in regards to children are the basics:

healthy meals (I have a SUPER hard time slacking on this one as I'm sure you might understand), clean clothing and bedding... oh, and bodies (can't forget bath time!), semi-clean house. ;) But that stuff is all just FOR the children (though eventually it should be partly their responsibility), not really WITH them.

Then there are:

reading, talking, playing, teaching, listening, sledding, swinging, coloring, singing, drying (tears), laughing, comforting, wiping (hands, noses, faces), tickling, disciplining, hugging, kissing, running, celebrating, watching (with awe... and sometimes shock), loving, loving, loving, etc.

So how do you say what's most important?

How do you prioritize?

What do you choose to slack on when you feel life needs to relax a bit?

And on that note... how do you say "Oh, I'll just put the laundry aside today because that's not what's most important," when all that really means is that you'll have more laundry to do later.

It's a balancing act, right?

So how do we balance it all when we all just want to do the best job possible and do what's best for our children and our family?

It's easier to just DO and not think about it.

But when you stop and ponder, it's a little overwhelming.

So here's what I've come up with:

Besides meeting their basic needs (which are simply unavoidable), my ultimate responsibility is to teach them. I want to send my children off into the world with the lessons and tools and values needed to make a good life for themselves. At the end of the day, THAT'S the most imporant thing.

Soooo, as if this post isn't long and rambling enough...

Here is a list (a list? who me?) of things I want to teach my children:

1) Respect yourself and invite others into your life that do the same.

On that note, be respectful of others.

This lesson (of self-respect) seems so much harder to teach a daughter than a son. Why do I feel that way? I have respect for myself and so hopefully I can model that. But I just see so many women that don't, and I guess I'm just fearful of that path for my daughter.

2) Be a good person, even when it's not convenient.

And also, do the right thing, even when no one's looking.

3) Love God, and be aware of and thankful for your blessings.

4) Don't depend on someone else for your own happiness.

It is your own responsibility to know and love yourself. People are drawn to other happy people, not to dependency. Choose to be happy!

5) Take care of your body.

Probably not a common first thought with lists like this, but it goes along with the self-respect thing and also ties into a whole lot of other dangerous paths a person could be drawn to, i.e. drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, etc... all leading to poor health. Craig and I had the same reason for never trying drugs in school (or ever) - we didn't want to put something harmful into our bodies. I want our kids to feel the same when they are exposed to that choice.

Yikes! We've got our work cut out for us just with that list alone!

Now, if only they made teacher lesson plans for life lessons like these...

Anyway, you'll probably be seeing more rambling posts soon.

I'm just really reflecting lately!