Will-isms

Another dose of funnies:

1) (Oct) "Mommy, cookies don't have legs because we eat them." [???] I think this may have been around another phase of discussing what is "alive" and what is not?
2) (Oct) In the evening, I'm getting ready to brush Will's teeth as he protests (whiney):
Will: "Nooo! I want daddy to brush my teeth!"
Me: "Why?"
Will: [trying to think fast since he doesn't have a reason...] "Because I love him!"
3) (Oct) "I don't like Massey Ferguson tractors. I like Minneapolis Moline and Case tractors."
4) (Oct) "Mommy, can you go to college with me?" Hahaha!!! I laughed pretty hard at this one because it came out of no where. I said "Sure! That would be so fun! We could room together and everything!" Haha! I'll remind him of that as he's applying to colleges in 14 years. :)
5) (Oct) Will and I were disagreeing about his friend Jagger's age. Will said "if you argue with me... I promise you, he is 5." Um, okay. [He was right.] Then just a little later, he added "and Sophie is 1 and 'little Addyson' is 2... Is that correct?" :)
6) (Nov) It's early Saturday morning and it's beginning to be bright enough that we don't need lights on in the house. Will is sitting near a lamp in the living room as I go to shut it off.
Will: "No! Don't! It will cool me off!"
Me: "It will cool you off?"
Will: "It's keeping me warm!"
7) (Nov) It's almost bedtime and I'm trying to get Will up from playing and into his room to change into pj's. So... a la Sandra Boynton, I say: "The moon is up, it's getting late..." Will, instantly knowing where I'm going with this, protested "Noooo!" But I still continued: "Let's get ready to celebrate! It's..." Will: "Clothes time!" Haha! You'd have to have read the book to get that one.
8) (Nov) At Maumee Bay on Thanksgiving morning, Will is rattling off a bunch of things he knows (using lots of big words) to Casey and Brittany and Troy who are all just waking up. Casey is totally encouraging this, asking him lots of questions. But at one point, she asks him how to spell his whole first name [he knows] and he ducked his head and coyly said "I'm a little shy..." Ha! Ya right! What a little actor. He did end up spelling it for her but it was funny that he just said that out of no where. Will is definitely not shy. I think he got that out of our feelings book.
9) (Nov) On our drive to the library this morning, Will asks me "Mommy, are we heading east?" I say "No, actually, we're heading west." He says "Oh, yes! I love west! That's my favorite direction!" Haha! I laugh and ask "Oh, really? Why?" And he says "because it has a 'W' just like Will!"
10) (Dec) One of the old farm dogs had to be put down recently and Will knows that Craig is really sad about this. Tonight, when we get ready to say our prayers, Will starts with "Dear Lord, Please bless Buster so that he can have a nice heaven with Jesus." Our boy has such a sweet heart.

Sometimes Will just breaks off into this whole spiel about whatever and just talks and talks and talks. The next two are an example of that.
11) (Dec) Our Magic Tree House book has a honey guide bird in it that is pecking at a honeycomb hanging from a tree in an African forest. Will tells me: "Woodpeckers peck at trees too... And hummingbirds are like woodpeckers because they have long beaks... except hummingbirds flap their wings really, really fast like this [he demonstrates this for me] while they smell the flowers... We don't smell flowers because they would make us sneeze."
12) (Same day, same book) There are lots of animals that live on the African plains. Some that Will knows like gazelles and zebras and elephants. Others that are new to him like wildebeests and hyenas and vultures. He tells me: "Hyenas look like mean dogs with spots and they have sharp teeth because they are carnivores and they eat meat. Giraffes and zebras are herbivores and they are not mean. Lions are sometimes mean and sometimes they are nice. But Tyrannosaurus Rexes are always mean." Holy tangent! ;)
13) (Dec) "Jawstoppers [he's mixing up the words Gobstoppers and Jawbreakers from Halloween candy that he was not allowed to have because of their size and hardness] are a 'sometimes food' because they are a dessert like ice cream except they don't come in a cone." We read a really great book as part of our Tot School nutrition lesson back in the beginning of summer and have frequently repeated their excellent message of explaining junk food and healthy food as "sometimes foods" vs "everyday food". I think that is so important for kids to know that it is okay to eat ALL foods but that many of them are just not eaten every day. That's a very healthy food outlook. My kids get treats and junk on occasion but, more importantly, I want them to learn what foods are good for their bodies EVERY day. This came in handy just this past Sunday when we went to a kiddie Christmas party and grandma loaded Will up with garbage food (nuggets, fries, cupcakes, etc.) at 3 pm... just in time to spoil his dinner. Will happily inhaled everything put in front of him at the party. Later at bath time that night (after he'd finished a very light dinner), I asked Will if he enjoyed the party. He, of course, said yes and then told me he loved seeing Santa and getting a present. And then, all on his own, he added that he'd eaten "sometimes foods". I asked him why he called them sometimes foods and he said "because they are junk food". I told him he was right and that I was glad he had a good time.
14) (Dec) This one is a little graphic - sorry. Craig has taught Will a new song for after he pees standing up on the potty to make sure he's "dry" before pulling up his underwear. So now, after he goes, I'll hear him from outside the bathroom door singing: "Shake, shake, shake... shake, shake, shake... shake your penis... shake your penis" (to the tune of "shake your booty"). Do you know which tune I mean? The original lyrics Craig taught him used the word "wiener" but I asked them to change that. Nice, huh? I'm so proud. And I made sure to tell him he's only allowed to sing it at home - not at school or in public. So sometimes he'll tell me before he goes "...and I'm going to sing my song because it's okay at home".
15) (Dec) More compliments from my lover boy:
"Mommy, you are so sweet."
"You are the best mommy because you make me the healthy dinners." (He said that as I was setting down his lunch plate in front of him.)
"You're really pretty, mommy."
16) (Dec) Today Will got a much needed haircut. Problem is: he always twirls his colic on the back right/top side of his head with his right pointer finger when he's feeling sleepy or going to bed. So at bedtime tonight, Will whined for daddy to come back in his room and said "but daddy, I can't go to sleep!... because I can't twirl my hair!" Poor, sad boy. He sounded so pathetic. I felt bad for him... but he did fall asleep just fine. Maybe we should start cutting all the hair around the colic and just leave that part long. Haha - kidding. He looks super cute with his hair short again.