As I've mentioned before, it is my goal to have a completely natural birth. The whole thing is an other-worldly experience and something so much bigger than myself. Certainly it's not easy, and it IS hard work (hence the name labor), but it is the biggest, most amazing thing my body will ever do and I want to experience it completely. I realize it happens every day, all over the world. But it is still a miracle and something we should be grateful to be a part of. When you push your child into the world, you get the biggest high of your life. You feel on top of the world and like you can do anything. I wouldn't trade that (or mask it with medication) for anything.
In saying that, I also acknowledge that the most any woman can do is give it her all, moment-to-moment, and then resolve to accept whatever happens. There is so little control involved in the whole process of childbirth and it can be very easy to slip into a mindset of fear. But allowing those thoughts to control you and fighting the "pain" will only make the process longer and harder. You just have to focus, trust your body, and give into every wave. After that, it's up to God.
Okay, I'll step off my soapbox now. :)
Here is my 38 week belly.
Yikes! In the natural light (we took these on Sunday, during the day, instead of our usual evening shots), my skin looks albino! I need some sunshine!
I lost a pound and a half in the last week. My appetite is FINALLY diminishing and baby is still rapidly growing, so it's not unusual to plateau at the end. I didn't think that was going to happen for me - I was still so hungry all the time until just recently.
Physically, I'm feeling crampy and huge and slow and awkward... Braxton Hicks are very frequent and I'm gearing up for the real thing.
Yesterday, Craig and I went to another appointment. It didn't go so well, unfortunately. The appointment was scheduled for noon and Craig met me there. When I arrived, I was starting to feel light-headed and dizzy for some reason. Then we ended up waiting one and a half hours to see the doctor. By that time I was starting to feel very warm and nauseous. When they checked my blood pressure, it was a little low. They also make you lie flat on your back (the most uncomfortable position possible) to do the internal exam, measure the belly, and check the baby's position and heartbeat. I hate that. The doctor said I am now 80% effaced, still 1cm, and my belly is measuring 39 weeks. Everything looks good. But then she didn't offer to help me sit up, which is really hard on those little exam tables when your stomach muscles are stretched to the max and you can't very well roll to your side first. So Craig helped me up... sort of... and I got an extremely sharp and painful cramping in my lower abdomen that didn't go away for awhile. After the doctor left the room, I told Craig I needed a minute and that I wasn't feeling well. And suddenly, I got sick, right there in the exam room! I don't where this all came from, but afterward I felt better and we got something to eat. What a weird day.
My goals this week are to get as much sleep as I can by going to bed early, and to spend quality time with Will as a family.
On a side note, I would love to be done working! I'm so tired of trying to make myself look presentable every day when I'd rather just be home in sweats and a ponytail. It's a long day and I'm so tired by the end of it. But I'm going to tough it out and save my paid time off for my maternity leave. I'm also feeling anti-social lately and just want to be at home where I'm most comfortable.
Okay, enough complaining. Thank goodness the end is in sight!
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